Title of an article that reads, "What You Should Wear to Your Date with Françoise at Paris's Finist Zoo Restaurant" by Lauren Thompson, dated 2.26.2026.
A woman standing in a wardrobe with clothes, shoes, and accessories around her, with only her legs visible under a hanging pink dress.

Before I go into garish detail about this hypothetical evening, a quick warning: vegetarians, vegans, or anyone sensitive about animals may want to sit this one out. Paris in December 1870 was not exactly running on a plant based diet.

This is the fourth time you have opened the armoire, expecting some divine beam of light to reveal a dress you somehow missed. Unfortunately, the only thing you receive is a shock of anxious insanity every time the handles are touched. It is early December, cold in that sharp, bone aware way. The air is crisp. Tonight marks your third date with Françoise and your first merging of families. You are expecting talks of engagement to be on the table, but that certainly will not be the only contemporarily peculiar thing sitting in front of you.

The year is 1870. Paris has been under siege since September 19 and Europe is amidst the Franco-Prussia War. Even in this drab reality, you maintain standards. You are dating an upper echelon aristocratic gentleman, and marriage is not an abstract concept. By November, most restaurants and cafes had closed, replaced by government regulated canteens for less fortunate Parisians. Food supplies are thin. Morale is thinner. When push comes to shove, the upper class Parisians shove.

When the city ran out of meat, rich Parisians did not panic. They adjusted. “Okay, and? Here is some money. Fix it.” With post roads occupied and controlled by Germans, the food supply turned to creative measures, beginning with horse and ending with zoo elephant. By mid November, daily rationing equipped one Parisian with 100 grams of meat from a steady supply of beef, horse, and fish. That was not enough for such fine Parisians to sustain such a palate. Dogs, cats, and rats were added to the dietary expectation, but for you, that is amateur. Eventually, the wealthy manufactured demand for something more exclusive: zoo animals.

Yes. Zoo animals.

Françoise kindly brings you a copy of the evening’s menu in advance. The menu is as follows, perhaps startling to some, but you are well versed in “exotic meat” gastronomy and excited to request the Roast Ostrich while opening discussion about Napoleon III’s idiotic and humbling capture during the Battle of Sedan on September 2. Truly a war of ego between Napoleon and Otto von Bismarck that boiled down to who was the dominant power. It turns out it was not France. History will frame it diplomatically. Dinner will not.

Enough of a history lesson. Let us get our priorities straight. What to wear?

You have exactly twenty minutes before Françoise arrives outside your apartment, navigating German troops and winter streets to make the reservation on time. The city may be unraveling, but punctuality and presentation remain sacred. Let us open the armoire again.

You would not describe yourself as strictly de rigueur. More ahead of the moment. The pieces displayed here are currently available as of 2026 and not historically accurate to common fashion choices of 1870 Parisian women. And frankly, for the sake of feminism, we do not have to pretend they are.

Please enjoy below some outfits I would have last minute pulled together while my late nineteenth century date waits patiently outside in the Parisian cold.

Text that reads 'OPTION 1:' in bold black font on a white background.

Tonight, you want Françoises family to subliminally know that you eat cake, or something along those lines.

A satin cream-colored slip dress, a leopard print fur coat with black bow, beige high heels, and circular earrings with a Chanel logo in gold.
The image displays bold black text on a white background that reads "OPTION 2:".

Perhaps an outfit that reflects that of a congresswoman, to match the notes you brought discussing the turning point of Napoleon III’s capture.

Fashion ensemble featuring a white J. Crew button-up shirt, dark blue wide-leg Andres Otalora pants, brown Steve Madden knee-high leather boots, and a gold Dior clutch bag with a textured pattern.
Text that reads 'OPTION 3:' on a white background.

You know Françoise to be ambitiously impulsive, so there is a chance he will want you both to meet his friends at Le Montana, and you might want to prepare your outfit accordingly.

Fashion outfit displayed with a MISSONi patterned skirt, a KHAITE mustard skirt, Prada high-heeled shoes, and a Jimmy Choo metallic clutch purse.
Text that reads 'OPTION 4:' in bold black letters.
Clothing and accessories including a Jacquemus t-shirt, WAKAKUU pants, Jimmy Choo purple high heels, and an Ashish Coca-Cola sequined bag.

An outfit to show that, once this siege is over, you are more than prepared for your upcoming summer in Sardinia. And who cares if you wear all white in December? That is America’s problem, not yours.

Close-up of the text 'OPTION 5-'

A simple outfit to match the twelve dark alleys you and Françoise had to sprint through to avoid the German troops just to make it to dinner on time.

Black asymmetric long-sleeve sweater, blue jeans, black high-heeled shoes, red lipstick, and black lipstick from top brands Aritza, LUISAVIAROMA, Tony Bianca, and Chanel.
Text displaying 'OPTION 6' in bold black letters on a white background.

This outfit shows that you shine as brightly as the marquise you are expecting to receive on the next date.

Fashion outfit consisting of a Moschino textured short-sleeve top, wide-leg Agolde jeans with rolled cuffs and black belt, pair of blue and gold statement earrings, and metallic Prada high-heeled shoes with wooden heel.